Food Glorious Food

We should have known. From the moment Food, Glorious Food became the Food Industry, alarm bells should have started ringing. Like any other industry, say, the Film Industry, we should have anticipated the upheaval. The scams, the scandals, the marketing, the scares. Gimmicks, hypes, propaganda and the backlash of the media. It's almost worrying the paparazzi aren't involved!

Our aim? Eating right. The funny thing is, we'd probably be eating right already if it were not for all the helpful advice from the food industry. Guidelines are changed all the time. Goalposts moved. To top it all, we have this avalanche of information to deal with. Choices to make. Organic versus free range eggs. Free range against battery farmed. Dolphin friendly tuna. Wild Atlantic versus organic salmon. Gluten free, vegan and GM products. Fair trade. Halal. Kosher. Trans fatty acids, cold pressed oil, low in saturated fat, high in polyunsaturates. No added sugar, but does contain fructose. Or artificial sweeteners. Long term effects, unknown.

As if that's not enough, we then have to trawl through acres of nutritional facts. We painstakingly examine the back of every package to figure out what the daily recommendations are. What a portion is. How many portions fulfil the requirement of a certain vitamin or mineral. And in doing so, could that imply a potential overdose of another? It's time consuming, all this. Definitely so, for the discerning shopper. But wait! Maybe the supermarkets have an ulterior motive. This tactic of blinding us with science. Forcing us to spend more time at the supermarket. Yup! It can easily be construed as The Great Food Industry Conspiracy. A cleverly devised delay tactic to part with our money. You may want to overcome this hurdle by shopping less often, but how could you? With every product so officiously stipulating an expiry date, do you stand a chance? Most perishables threaten to perish within the same week! Expiry dates are a real nuisance. Well justified with meat and fish, and a number of other products, but vegetables? Like we can't see they're going off? Sugar and spice? All things that keep nice for decades in other countries? I mean, seriously, someone needs to get a grip!

It's our own fault. From traditional farming methods, we moved to industrialisation. We embraced modern farming methods, mass production and look what happened. After sufficiently polluting our environment, we have now come to our senses and want to downsize. Turn modernisation into moderation.

Along the way, we want to maximise benefit, like with any other industry. This means getting the most out of our food in terms of nutrients. After all, if we're paying for something, we owe ourselves this basic due diligence. It has to be good quality. It's like filling up a car with fuel. Use the wrong type, and it will misfire. So we lapped it all up. Swallowed it whole. That amorphous blob called Nutrition, riddled with facts and figures. Thoroughly educated, we emerged. Proud, we stood. We understood food.

Now that we are belching with repeat education, and we have a clear idea of what's required in food, it makes perfect sense that we are totally confused. That's why, even before we pick up an apple from the supermarket shelf we have to consider its background. That'll determine its nutritional value. They say green apples have more vitamin C than red ones. Okay, so green it is.

Armed with your green apple, you consider other issues. Pesticides and post-harvest time, for instance, as they destroy the nutrient content. So we choose something that's labelled organic and appears fresh. But then we discover it was flown halfway round the world! That must have taken time. Not to mention energy. You almost choke with the thought of all that fuel consumption. Thick, black aeroplane smoke clouds your judgement. You struggle with your conscience, break free from this thought. You run away in the unseasonal snow of global warming, leaving behind the carbon footprint of a Yeti. You sprint, all the time aware of that hole in the ozone layer, a Godly face, and a divine voice tinged with reprimand. Of course, you stop to listen. We all do. Then you ignore it, and leg it.

Okay, so that apple is not really green. Not green green. But at least it's organic. And to prove that, the price is different. A lot different. How could you possibly go wrong with that? Surely, we get what we pay for? Somebody, somewhere, must know what they're doing? After all, they know exactly what we're doing! Those people who watch us shopping on CCTV? Those people mining all our loyalty card data?

Anyway, it's settled. It's organic. Hand reared, watered and fed. Raised with tender loving care. Harvest method? Handpicked. The best by far. Moreover, to prove it's rigorous, but untarnished, chemical free life, it bears a scar. Almost like a battle scar. And thaaat juuust clinches it. Now you respect your apple. You march off with your prize purchase, holding it high, only to spot a rather scrumptious looking specimen in the very next box. Locally produced, but not organic. Fresh though. Harvested today!

Right! So now what do you do?!